Sub’N’Go

What can I get you? Have you got anything healthy? To be honest, no. I mean…look at Gregg. He eats two a day. He’s fucked.

We’re taking another trip to replication territory for this one. And simultaneously Bolton. Look out for Jenny Ryan, Kays Vernon and Peter and, of course, Sophie Willan. Also Will Jääskeläinen, whose accent must be absolutely insane.

The semi-autobiographical sitcom goes back a long way. From the good (Seinfeld), the bad (Miranda) and the ugly (Josh)*, they’ve been around for years. Alma Isn’t Normal is on the heavier side of the genre, being as Sophie Willan (Alma) spent time in foster care growing up, had a heroin-addicted mother and earnt money as a sex worker. Whether Sub’N’Go existed in real life is another matter. You’d expect it to be a composite of various terrible workplaces she had to endure throughout life.

Sub’N’Go itself appears to be pretty much a rubbish, British version of American cake-bread sandwich stuffers Subway. With added mascot. Alma’s heart is clearly not in it from the off, even before she has to wear the mandatory hat and t shirt. We’ve not got a hat but we do have the t shirt. T shirts, I should say. Your options are two; you can have the standard Sub’N’Go logo or you can go for Alma’s uniform, which features mascot Sergio. And yes, Sergio does appear to be cannibalising one of his own kind.

It’s highly unlikely, but if I ever met Sophie Willan I’d ask her if Sergio was inspired by Goya’s 19th century masterpiece ‘Saturn Devouring His Son‘. I suspect it would be equally unlikely to elicit a positive response. In my experience, women from that part of the world don’t put up with any of that kind of nonsense from a soft southern shite like me.

*I don’t particularly think Jerry Seinfeld, Miranda Hart and Josh Widdicombe are respectively good, bad or ugly. I mean, Josh is bad AND ugly**.

**This is a joke.