Hoddicker Associates

It’s great you’re still happy at Hoddicker. Well, maybe not forever. No, not forever. But for now. It’s OK for now. It’s great for now, yes. Yes, it is.

I’ve dealt with some squish in my time, but this is up there with the absolute squishiest. I’m referring to the legibility of the Hoddicker Associates logo on the top right of Lacie Pound’s computer screen for approximately three seconds of this episode. And all things told, that’s exactly how I like them. A firm challenge to replicate. The company is mentioned quite a lot but not represented visually at any other point.

I’ll level with you… Hoddicker looks like a fucking horrific place to work. Welcome to the pastel nightmare. Welcome to the nightmare, full stop, really. Without giving too much of the game away if you haven’t seen it, your life is Uber, but for everything. And by that, I mean their ‘five star’ (not the band) rating system. So rather than Mohammed picking you up from Soho and driving you slowly home when you’re shitfaced and have lost all your money in the Hippodrome, it’s basically any interaction.

Conversations, chance meetings, shop purchases, online posts… you name it, it gets rated. Lacie is a solid 4.2 in the show and she’s trying to get to 4.5 in order to be able to buy a house. Yes, you read that correctly. ‘Be able to’. It doesn’t even matter if you have the money. Your societal status rests on your rating and you can be denied the opportunity for specific perks if your numbers aren’t good enough. So everycunt is fucking miserable but pretends that they’re ecstatic.

I’ve thought about it a lot and have concluded that I would be struggling to get up to two. I think 2.5 would be me maxing out if I really gave it a go. Whooooaaaa, we’re half way there. That’s a result for me, I would say. The social commentary is fairly obvious. It’s like social media plus. Where you’re conning the world by PRing your life to be way better than it actually is. Lads, have you seen the pics of me drinking cocktails in Dubrovnik? Well, you wouldn’t have, because it’s more likely I’m sitting at home in my pants perpetually watching Antiques Road Trip and eating Pot Noodles and wanking.

Anyway, fonts were matched, pastel was deployed, here is your logo. Please use the contact form if you’d like to rate me.