Cecil Pitt Artist Management

Bad news boss, it’s wages time!

To the unaware, Rock Star Ate My Hamster is a game released in the late 1980s, its name a play on the infamous Sun headline ‘Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster‘. The sort of shock nonsense article published by right wing red tops at the time. This one concocted by tiny-cocked, now dead horrible bastard Max Clifford. At this juncture I’d like to say that if you do read The Sun, please vacate this page immediately. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Some things you don’t come back from.

Back to the action – the point of the game is to assemble a band and achieve four gold discs in a calendar year by practicing, gigging and pulling ridiculous publicity stunts. I used to play this game with my mate Ben in the early 90s and we thought it was fucking hilarious. We’d get four Lemmys (‘Lumme’ in the game; very cheap at £400) and go from there. Gradually the Lemmys would get killed off in frivolous and outlandish accidents and we never won, but it was a great laugh.

So, Cecil Pitt. He’s the bloke who’s financing the deal with his dickhead nephew Clive. He’s an old skool, cigar-choffing dinosaur (even for the 80s) and his name is shortened to ‘Cess’ in the booklet included in the game. Cess. Pitt. DO YOU SEE?

With all that in mind, I set about searching for a talent agency to base the design on. Thing is, there aren’t *that* many that are particularly household name-y. The only one that really sprang to mind was the Sylvia Plath Theatre School* but that didn’t really work. So I turned to record labels generally, as there’s so much more going on. In the end I edged towards a UMG subsidiary partially because I like it and partially because I know people that work for it.

I’m pleased to report that they did a ‘Millenium‘ update of the game, featuring some of my favourite artists, including Mickey Bungle, Kid A and DJ Stodgy, but a special mention must go to the spectacularly-named housewives’ favourite plagiarist Redd Copycat.

*This is a joke I frequently use to almost no reaction. Consistency is key in comedy and non-comedy alike.