Mountbatten’s English Cuisine


Goodness Gracious Me


Howcome every Friday night we end up here? Because that’s what you do – you go out, get tanked up on lassis, then go for an English.

Curry. I love it all. From korma to madras via jalfrezi. Get it in me. I would eat it every day if I could. God bless India and the surrounding areas from saving us from perpetual fish and chips. 50% of which I can’t eat anyway. Though I do love chips also. Not with a curry. I’m not an animal.

The sketch in question is an absolute classic and if you’re British you will have seen it. The perfect send up of shitfaced Brits in curry houses across the nation, from the mispronounced waiter names and toxic male bravado to the unadventurous female diners, it remains the pinnacle of GGM output.

The design is a bit of a free for all. There is some vague attempt at a logo in the sketch (Mountbatten’s is on screen for a second as an advert – the party moves from a cinema to the restaurant) but it’s kind of just a rectangle outline thing. What I’ve attempted is to go for an Indian-ish feel but with obvious Britishness. The Mod circle thing and Union flag, so often utilised as a signifier for ‘English’. It’s obviously wrong but delibrate. So Apologies to the Welsh, Scottish and Norn Ironish amongst you.

The script is in Marathi and reads ‘The Blandest Menu in Town‘ across the top and ‘Bombay‘ at the bottom. I know Bombay technically doesn’t exist anymore, but I’m just going on the source material.

Size Guide

The Most Recent Developments

Are Not Necessarily an Indication of Superior Quality...