Shithole Line

The train for Lowestoft is on platform 4. It leaves in 5 minutes, so you better learn to jog again quickly. No, seriously, run. You will miss it.

It’s very well documented that Alan’s relationship with the country’s capital has turned r-r-r-rather sour. Since being denied a second series of Knowing Me, Knowing You, his disdain for the place has been unwavering. I mean, he did punch Tony Hayers in the face with a turkey-clad fist, so I’m not sure why it was *that* much of a surprise to him. I think the fact that his highly erratic Ukrainian love interest Sonja loves the place does nothing but goad him into despising it all the more.

As mentioned in the show, Alan spells London ‘s-h-i-t-h-o-l-e, shithole‘, so using the Bakerloo colour was the obvious choice. Sorry if that’s a bit on the nose. Or arse. For some reason, I’ve included the connecting lines as various sauces and condiments from the second series (of I’m Alan Partridge, not KMKYWAP). He gets bean juice on Graham the Beefeater bear when hiding from the tax people and discusses mustard with Karen Coleman (the Grace Kelly with black hair of Norfolk), immediately before attempting to get her opinion on soy (the new kid on the block).

I think in the back of my mind it was from when I redid the Tube map in condiments ages ago. To this day, I’m not sure why I did this.

Anyway, I live in London. You get the odd dosser and dwad, but no more than anywhere else.