Kitchen Planet


I'm Alan Partridge



Michael, I wouldn’t insult this man by asking for a 25% discount on a kitchen!

I’ll start off by saying that I did want to put a destination on this one. Kitchen Planet is on the A416, but I’m not entirely sure where. It could be Amersham, High Wycombe or Chesham. Or none of these. Ordinarily I would’ve just slapped the county on there and have had done with it, but the A416 spans both Buckinghamshire and Hertfordshire. I’m sure you demand accuracy with these things, so I couldn’t commit either way.

What’s strange about that is that Norfolk is (in UK terms) quite far away from all of those places. Alan meets Dan Moody in an undisclosed petrol station, presumably quite near to the A416. Yet Alan, Dan and his wife Ceri all attend the Norfolk Bravery Awards. And Alan inadvertantly almost joins their sex festival after popping round to talk kitchens. If you were to say that they all live in Norwich or the surrounding areas and Kitchen Planet is in Chesham…then Birmingham is nearer and Cardiff is roughly the same distance. All I’m saying is that it’s a looong commute, Lexus or not.

Putting my Poirot hat down now. The fonts for this may just look a bit arbitrary but they’re based on a well known British kitchen retailer’s logo. The top bit is just me freestyling on the words ‘kitchen’ and ‘planet’, featuring a couple of satellites orbiting a frying pan sun.

People who can’t see that are s-a-a-a-d.

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