Bannroyd Animal Feed

When I hear about how excited the management team are, it’s infectious. And I don’t mean like foot and mouth or BSE. But certainly a kind of bird flu of enthusiasm.

Alan once again tries to grab the zeitgeist and fails miserably – and the rage these days is mental health. In trying to prolong his career further yet, he has an attempt at Road to Damascussing his previous sacking from This Time and ends up re-evaluating his life and all that it entails.

During a corporate event that he’s hosting, After Alan collapses into the lap of Claire of Bannroyd (purveyors of fine animal food who are pledging to phase out the feeding of animals to other animals by 2065), he embarks on a mission to get to the root of Britain’s – and his own – mental health crises. Let’s not get too embroiled in all that tofu-eating wokerati nonsense just now, shall we? And anyway, long standing AP fans will remember his performance for Dante Fires at Chorister’s that time as being infinitely worse than fainting into a woman.

As mentioned, Bannroyd make animal feed and they bookend the show’s run – the above drives the narrative of the series from the off, though they also make an appearance in the last episode when Alan is supposedly all Ok again nine months later. While fronting some corporate farm thing he’s debating whether it’s ethically sound to eat bacon in front of a pig. It isn’t. But then I would say that. Hashtag vegan life. Hashtag tofu-eating wokerati.

I suppose the real question here is whether anyone would go around sporting a garment featuring the logo of a company that makes animal pellets. The answer is: of course they would, people are fucking mental. If it helps, I’ve seen people legit wearing John Deere t shirts unironically.

Well, I am from Somerset. Where the tractor is king. And queen. And has six fingers on each hand.