First Person Finance


Scissored Isle


Why do you charge your customers extortionate rates of interest, Kevin? You’re a big boy, you eat your greens. You tie your own shoelaces. You eat your crusts. You wipe your own bum. Why do you look like a sad teddy in a suit?

We’re back in the land of Partridge, specifically the oft-missed ‘Scissored Isle‘. The pinnacle of which is Alan taking like a duck to water in amongst the hardcore Tesco checkout legends of Manchester and conjuring up fictional narratives about trolley-gathering everymen. He also infiltrates a gang and hacks back some MDMA before meeting a mayor on a comedown.

In this particular bit, though, he’s accosting Kevin Ruddock, who looks suspiciously like The Fast Show’s John Thomson. Kevin is the managing director of First Person Finance and Alan doesn’t like his extortionates rates of interest, so accosts him in a guerilla-journalist, Cook Report-style ambush outside of his home one morning. Before backing down after realising that Kevin is actually fan of his radio show.

The logo is a play on one of the iterations of Wonga. I normally don’t mention the brands I’m ripping off – sorry, I mean: the brands I’m ‘influenced by’ – but these don’t exist anymore, so who cares?

In fact, from my research they weren’t exactly paragons of virtue; preying on the weak and vulnerable for maximum financial benefit. So nuts to them and I’m glad they got liquidated.

Ignore all that negativity. Show your support for Kevin Ruddock by purchasing this First Person Finance t shirt. I will make sure he gets the money.

Size Guide

The Most Recent Developments

Are Not Necessarily an Indication of Superior Quality...