Blocko

Ok. We have our choice of Rectangle Land, Cube Country or Squaresville. Squaresville sounds pretty cool.

I think we’re all aware of what’s going on here. That’s right. Denmark’s greatest export outside of Thomas Gravesen: Lego. Every child’s favourite sole-of-your-foot-shredding assembly fun block. I say that, loads of adults are into it as well, aren’t they? I’ve seen them on social media. Heavy-set Warhammer enthusiasts building Star Destroyers into their beards and the like. Then their spouse opens a door and smashes it into a million pieces or whatever. Beadle would give you £250 for that back in the day. These days you’re lucky to get three cry-laugh emojis for your efforts.

Anyway, The Simpsons. The Simpsons go to Blockoland after seeing it advertised rather insipidly on telly and visit various attractions and rides and what not once they’re in there. Lisa ends up purchasing a Blocko Eiffel Tower kit that has a piece missing, thus beginning the actual story. In true Simpsons tradition, this segment has fuck all to do with the true narrative of the programme, which is the one where Homer goes on hunger strike to protest the clandestine relocation of the Springfield Isotopes to New Mexico. It is a bit of a belter, as well. Some really solid Duffman moments.

So I’m doing the word ‘Blocko” in the style of the Lego logo. I know. It’s stuff like this that keeps me in Mensa. Now, there is a Lego font out there in the internet wilderness, but I am sad to report that it’s a bit shit when you cross reference the individual glyphs with the letters that feature in the actual logo. The uppercase E is completely wrong, which leads me to believe that the rest of it is of equivalent quality. But, I used it as a base to start with and fucked about with it a bit until I came up with this. Which I’m quite happy with, as I like to put more effort than just a word in a font on a t shirt if I can help it.

Please relay this to anyone who asks about this if you happen to buy the thing. Nice one.